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Why Uncomfortable Meetings are Productive
You know how to effectively plan for meetings. The invitee list has been vetted to make sure the appropriate stakeholders are involved. Everyone has a clear understanding of their roles. The agenda is set and has been communicated. The logistics – the room, the videoconference and screen-share applications are all set up and appropriate for your meeting objective.
Fast forward. The meeting is over. You have communicated your purpose and objectives and all of the agenda topics have been discussed and action items have been documented.
Everything is perfect, right? Maybe…probably not.
Some tactical meetings are that simple. Meetings to discuss strategic topics are often more complex.
As project management professionals, we spend most of our time planning our activities and making sure everything is on track. We are “on track” when there are no disruptions in a meeting. We lose sight that uncomfortable meetings can be our most productive forums.
In the above scenario, you may have just led an ineffective meeting. Your most immediate tell tale sign will be noticing ‘meeting after the meetings’. These can be other stakeholders discussing the way forward or people ‘hanging back’ to discuss next steps with you. These are particularly toxic because they often bring in new information that may have changed the decisions agreed in the meeting. It derails the consensus building for your team and most likely will alienate stakeholders.
Another tell-tale sign is lack of progress on action items. The stakeholders were not engaged and never truly bought into the idea that there action item was important. Their non-action could have grave impact on your project’s success.
In some cases, conflict comes on its own. Make sure your meeting environment allows stakeholders to ask questions and provide feedback. Questions will often bring to light underlying assumptions.
“We didn’t think our team was responsible for that.”
You have just uncovered assumptions or a lack of clarity that impacts resources and may have delayed the delivery date.
Other meetings might be difficult to bring the conflict to the surface. Look around the room and check in with people’s facial expressions and body movements – they will let you knew if they disagree or have a concern.
On a conference call, ask pointed questions to individuals, like:
…Susan, you agree with this approach?
…David, do you see any risks with us going down this path?
…Julie, this will directly impact your team, are you in agreement with our approach? Or do you have any additional information that would contribute to the discussion?
If you are not used to conflict, this will not be easy. I encourage you to find your own voice and style. If you have an upcoming meeting at which you know there will be a conflict, practice and prepare. Think of the questions that you could ask to facilitate the discussion. Practice with a coworker who is familiar with the stakeholders. Practice with friends, family members, or in a mirror.
So now you’re in the middle of the conflict. There is tension and uncertainty in the room. Keep the room focused on the success goals for the project. Restate the items that the team has agreed to and those that are still being debated and facilitate the team to the root cause of the conflict. Be clear on what can be resolved within the current meeting and what may need to continue in a follow up meeting. Make sure the proper stakeholders are involved to resolve the conflict. The end result will be a higher level of consensus and engagement.
Don’t be aftaid of conflict. I challenge you to ask the difficult questions and facilitate at the risk of having an uncomfortable meeting. It will be the best thing you can do for your project.
Let me know what you think. What have been your experiences with uncomfortable meetings? Do you have any additional recommendations for facilitating through the conflict?
Lead and Deliver 